Therapy That Helps You Reconnect With Yourself
A place to understand how people-pleasing develops and learn how to stay connected to yourself.
Meet Your Therapist
Shoshana Pearlman, LCSW-C, EMDR-C
Licensed Clinical Social Worker | EMDR-Certified Therapist | Clinical Supervisor
Hi, I’m Shoshana. I’m a licensed clinical social worker and EMDR-certified therapist. I earned my Master’s degree in Social Work in 2001 from the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University in New York City.
Over the past two decades, I’ve worked in a variety of clinical settings, including community mental health centers, social service agencies, residential programs, private practice, and senior living communities. Each of these environments shaped the way I think about therapy and how people adapt to difficult circumstances.
As a mom of three, a psychotherapist, and a daughter of an aging parent, I’m not a stranger to the challenges of people-pleasing. I’ve seen how easily it can become part of daily life, both personally and in the work I do with clients.
One thing I’ve come to believe over the years is that many of the patterns that bring people into therapy once served an important purpose. The ways we learned to cope, whether that meant staying quiet, focusing on others’ needs, working harder than everyone else, or setting aside our own feelings, often helped us navigate earlier environments.
But over time, those same patterns can begin to feel limiting. What once helped you get through a situation may no longer feel like it fits the life you want to live now.
Part of the work we do in therapy is gently understanding how those patterns developed, identifying what internal needs are waiting to be addressed and exploring what it might look like to respond differently today.
Outside the Therapy Room
When I’m not working, you’ll often find me walking with friends, one of my favorite ways to stay connected and clear my head. I’m an avid reader of historical fiction, drawn to stories that explore how people navigate difficult circumstances across different times and places.
I’m also genuinely curious about different cultures and love any opportunity to learn about traditions, perspectives, and ways of life beyond my own. And when I need to recharge on my own, the gym is my go-to.
The Focus of My Work
Much of my work centers on helping adults who feel stuck in patterns of people-pleasing. Many people don’t initially describe it that way. Instead, they talk about feeling responsible for how everyone else is feeling, or worrying that they’ve disappointed someone without even knowing it.
You might notice yourself:
- Feeling less responsible for everyone else’s emotions
- Avoiding conflict at almost any cost
- Struggling to say no
- Feeling guilty when prioritizing your own needs
- Second-guessing your decisions
- Constantly wondering if you’ve disappointed someone
Therapy can be a place to understand those patterns with curiosity rather than judgment. Part of the work involves learning how to stay connected to others without abandoning yourself in the process.
How I Approach Therapy
My approach to therapy is warm, collaborative, and grounded in both curiosity and practical tools.
I don’t see people as problems to fix. Instead, I see individuals who have developed ways of coping that made sense at one point in their lives.
Together we work to understand those patterns while also building the skills needed to move forward in a way that feels steadier and more self-directed.
Sometimes that work involves learning practical strategies for managing anxiety or emotional overwhelm. Other times it means exploring earlier experiences that may still be shaping how you see yourself and the world. Often, it’s a combination of both.
I believe that meaningful change happens through both insight and action.
Understanding your patterns is important. But learning how to respond differently in everyday life is where real change begins.
What You Can Expect
If we decide to work together, therapy becomes a space where you can talk openly and begin exploring the patterns that may have kept you feeling stuck.
Many of the people I work with have spent years focusing on the needs of others. Over time, that can make it difficult to recognize your own needs, trust your instincts, or feel confident setting boundaries.
Therapy offers a place to slow down and gently examine those patterns without judgment. The work may include:
- A calm, supportive space to speak honestly
- Exploring people-pleasing patterns and where they developed
- Understanding beliefs that may contribute to anxiety or self-doubt
- Practical tools for managing emotional overwhelm
- Learning how to stay connected to yourself in relationships
- Moving at a pace that feels manageable and respectful of your needs
Therapy offers a place to slow down and gently examine those patterns without judgment. The work may include:
The therapeutic relationship is a place to practice new ways of being.
– Shoshana Pearlman, LCSW-C, EMDR-C
Let’s Talk About What’s Been Going On
If you’re beginning to notice that people-pleasing patterns are affecting your relationships, decisions, or sense of well-being, therapy can help you understand where those patterns come from and how they can begin to shift.